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The Impulse

from Emergence by Source

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lyrics

I’m back in
The trenches
This rut was
Once my home
Slipped back to
What I know
Face first in
Quicksand
The harder I pull the more
Stuck I become

Don’t want to
Be drastic
But I need some
Sense of control
If I take matters
In my hands
I must make
A path out
Scale the walls
With a force of will

The constant
Sharp piercing
Is truly
Unbearable
Must admit
That I need help
And cry out
For validation
Please
Ease my despair

This wound was
My vessel
Battered and
Splintering
Delivered
On sails of
Repulsion
But I’m not just this
Vessel
My essence is the water

This is not
The mouth of the river
Calling me back to the Source
The healing lies here in the depths
Of the ocean in my mind

I don’t always
Give in to hopelessness
Despair abducts all of my choices
The impulse is for no one’s sake
I just want to end the pain

I know I have choice
I’m choosing to create with it
To breathe life into something
And here I find what I had lost
In hopeless isolation
So confused by everything
Will you listen to me?
I need to feel understood
I need to feel you with me

I can’t keep denying
And dismissing this tendency
Fighting so hard
Not to indulge the impulse
To destroy all I know
It would feel so good to demolish
These feelings, this spark
But that is not why I chose this life
The longer it goes on
The more serious I become
The more defeats I suffer
The less I have to lose

I know I have choice
I’m choosing to create with it
To breathe life into something
And here I find what i had lost
In hopeless isolation
I’m so confused by everything
Will you listen to me?
I need to feel understood
I need to feel you with me

credits

from Emergence, released October 13, 2023
Benjamin Gleason: Vocals, Guitars and Keyboards
Justin Mirarck: Drum Set and Electronic Drum Pads
Pascal Faurie: Bass

Written By Source
Produced by Benjamin Gleason and Justin Mirarck
Mixed by Benjamin Gleason and Justin Mirarck
Engineered by Justin Mirarck
Recorded at Cymatic Sounds Studio in Colorado

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Source Boulder, Colorado

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