1. |
Crack In The Shell
02:11
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Come out now
There's a crack in the shell The sunlight is Waiting here Beyond the horizon of the Crack in the shell Spread these wings and Take this new breath
Driven by an ember of hope
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2. |
Emergence
09:46
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I am emerging
From the shell
And I am so grateful for the
The gift of air that fills my lungs
So humbling to feel this enduring moment Emergence from this prison shell Drinking in the liberation
My satisfaction
Was always here
Waiting to engulf me
And always will be
Eternally
I can see my path before me All I have to do is take these steps I know I will stumble
But I’ll keep spinning the earth Beneath my feet
Struggling out of the shell
That’s outlasted its purpose Enveloped in the warm glow
That was once just a glimmer through a hole
Immersed in this unrestricted blessing Brought to tears
And joyous laughter
This is eternity
No need to worry
The sun was always waiting right here
Only birth can conquer death The birth of something wholly new The Wellspring of creation Driven by an ember of hope
"The Impulse"
"A Path Out"
There’s no escaping disappointment and loss When I can’t feel any hope I must ignite an ember And forge a path
A path out of despair
By asking you for your help I can’t do this alone
I thought that I could Enlighten my way out of this It turns out I still can
By asking for a hand
In suffering this path
In taking another step By asking for your shoulder And opening up to you
"Bitter"
Tired of holding contempt For all of this incompetence This must end
Don’t want to be a bitter man So I must bite my tongue Give way to Noble silence
I’ll never make you see the light This child doesn’t need validation Attempting to influence
Is futile anyway Nothing I do or say Could ever make me superior It’s just how I keep myself safe
I wish you the best
I hope that something will open your eyes To the damage you inflict
By ignoring the pain inside
And pretending that you’re just fine
I want you to suffer Punishment for your Transgressions but I know
That won’t serve anything
I choose to be vital Destructive criticism
Is malignant so I
Choose to love you
Where you’re at and Maybe someday
You will feel embraced beyond the Mending of your past
I wish you the best
I hope that something will open your eyes To the damage you inflict
By ignoring the pain inside
And pretending that you’re just fine
I wish you the best
May you find some introspection and May you find the mending
You desperately need
To be free
"Mandala"
Credits: Benjamin Gleason: Vocals, Paul Reed Smith Guitars, Acuostic Guitar, Grand Piano,
Keyboards, Synthesizers
Justin Mirarck:
Drums, Nord Drum Synthesizer Pascal Faurie:
Bass Guitar
ALL MUSIC WRITEN BY SOURCE
Additional writing credit to
Jake Demarco
For his contributions to
"The Impulse" and "A Path Out" Recorded at Cymatic Sounds Studios in Golden CO.
Produced and Mixed by: Benjamin Gleason and Justin Mirarck Engineered by Justin Mirarck Organ and Leslie Recordings by Don Bearie at Colorado Sound Mastered by Tom Capek at Colorado Sound Studios Cover art by Mike Gamble Augmented Reality by Misha George
I leave the shell with this precious gift
All the troubles and all blessings of existence
This potential is turning kinetic
Taking these first steps in my new form
Just to feel my breath breathing
Soaked in a fountain of humility
Atop this arc
I sit Inhaling
And exhaling
My breath propels me
Through the sea
The sea of living life
Through all the troubles and all the blessings of the world The sunlight was always shining here
Waiting to engulf me
Beyond the horizon
Of the shell
That I am struggling from
Emergence into the world
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3. |
Vesica (The Path In)
08:15
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I am
Am I?
Listen to duality
The song of being
Disunion
Disunion?
It’s the only way
To see my eyes
The imbalance
Between my pulse
And my essence
Is focusing
Despite this
Feeling of rejection
I can hear the guidance
Keep going son
Where are you?
You’re not here
Guess that’s not
Part of the deal
I will find sonority
If I have to make it myself
Weave in and out of harmony
To sew the fabric of reality
Heal the central laceration
To mend the bleeding branches
In this unity
Separate, overlapping
I will sit and listen to
The song, the song of being
First connection
First taste of reality
There’s so much numbness
Here surrounding me
Was I
Intended
And what is this outside of me?
Cloaked hostility?
So alone
From the start
Safety of inception
Is isolating me
Solitude
Is killing me
Time to accept
It’s not a refuge
Where were you?
You weren’t here
Now I suffer
In silence
I will find sonority
If I have to make it myself
Weave in and out of harmony
To sew the fabric of reality
Heal the central laceration
To mend the bleeding branches
In this unity
Separate, overlapping
I will sit and listen to
The song, the song of being
I would give anything
(To know that there’s something)
Just to feel you
(Beneath your shielding)
To know that you’re with me
(I can’t read you)
And that I belong here
(Am I welcome?)
In this unity
Separate overlapping
I will sit and listen to
The song, the song of being
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4. |
The Impulse
06:21
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I’m back in
The trenches
This rut was
Once my home
Slipped back to
What I know
Face first in
Quicksand
The harder I pull the more
Stuck I become
Don’t want to
Be drastic
But I need some
Sense of control
If I take matters
In my hands
I must make
A path out
Scale the walls
With a force of will
The constant
Sharp piercing
Is truly
Unbearable
Must admit
That I need help
And cry out
For validation
Please
Ease my despair
This wound was
My vessel
Battered and
Splintering
Delivered
On sails of
Repulsion
But I’m not just this
Vessel
My essence is the water
This is not
The mouth of the river
Calling me back to the Source
The healing lies here in the depths
Of the ocean in my mind
I don’t always
Give in to hopelessness
Despair abducts all of my choices
The impulse is for no one’s sake
I just want to end the pain
I know I have choice
I’m choosing to create with it
To breathe life into something
And here I find what I had lost
In hopeless isolation
So confused by everything
Will you listen to me?
I need to feel understood
I need to feel you with me
I can’t keep denying
And dismissing this tendency
Fighting so hard
Not to indulge the impulse
To destroy all I know
It would feel so good to demolish
These feelings, this spark
But that is not why I chose this life
The longer it goes on
The more serious I become
The more defeats I suffer
The less I have to lose
I know I have choice
I’m choosing to create with it
To breathe life into something
And here I find what i had lost
In hopeless isolation
I’m so confused by everything
Will you listen to me?
I need to feel understood
I need to feel you with me
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5. |
A Path Out
05:14
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There’s no escaping
disappointment and loss
When I can’t feel any hope
I must ignite an ember
And forge a path
A path out of despair
By asking for your help
I can’t do this alone
I thought that I could
Enlighten my way out of this
It turns out I still can
By asking for a hand
In suffering this path
In taking another step
By asking for your shoulder
And opening up to you
If I suffer in silence
I surely will disintegrate
There’s beauty in the openness
I cannot keep this all inside
I don’t want to burden you
Or seem like I am vapid
I’m forging a path out of despair
By choosing to breathe life into something
I’m making this so I can share
The burden of this impulse
If I suffer in silence
I surely will disintegrate
There’s beauty in
The openness
I cannot keep
This all inside
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6. |
The Betrayal
02:49
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You betrayed me
In a state of need
Abandoned your
Responsibility
You promised me
You wouldn’t disappear
But you’re gone now
And I am all alone
You lied
To ease your conscience
Your lies
Inflame my initial wound
I have to forget the sound of your voice
It won’t guide me again
Although your words ring true
The betrayal’s inexcusable
We can’t have closure if
You’ve got one foot out the door
I know that I can pull through
But my faith in everyone is gone
All that’s left here
Is a river of tears
In the chambers of my heart
I haven’t indulged the impulse
But if I do
I know that it will haunt you
You can’t escape the ashes
Of the damage in your wake
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7. |
Bitter
04:37
|
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Tired of holding contempt
For all of this incompetence
This must end
Don’t want to be a bitter man
So I must bite my tongue
Give way to noble silence
I’ll never make you see the light
This child doesn’t need validation
Attempting to influence
Is futile anyway
Nothing I do or say
Could ever make me superior
It’s just how I keep myself safe
I wish you the best
I hope that something will open your eyes
To the damage you inflict
By ignoring the pain inside
And pretending that you’re just fine
I want you to suffer
Punishment for your
Transgressions but I know
That won’t serve anything
I choose to be vital
Destructive criticism
Is malignant so I
Choose to love you
Where you’re at and
Maybe someday
You will feel embraced beyond the
Mending of your past
I wish you the best
I hope that something will open your eyes
To the damage you inflict
By ignoring the pain inside
And pretending that you’re just fine
I wish you the best
May you find some introspection and
May you find the mending
You desperately need
To be free
|
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8. |
Snoodle Goo
01:32
|
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Awoooooooo
|
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9. |
Goose Noodle
01:11
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10. |
Mandala
10:15
|
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First the vision
From stillness
From ether
A glowing spark
Of inspiration
The desire
To sculpt
The future
Every stitch
Of the tapestry
Every grain of sand
Placed so lovingly
I made this so
I could share the joy
And we could feel
Connected
The glowing spark
Was so pure
Generous
Benevolent
This ember
Temporary
It will always be
Extinguished
So I’ll tear to shreds
The tapestry
That I once sewed
So lovingly
As I am the hand
That begins
And completes
The cycle
To behold the vision
To know that I can bring to life
This spark from the ether
And know that you can see it too
Is the greatest proof
Of my existence
But only if I destroy the mandala
Will I know
What I made it for for
I made this so I could share
The joy I felt in the void
I never expected
That you couldn’t face yourself
The grief and futility
Take my breath away
What was point
If everything I have was not enough?
Beauty
Exists
To be
And be destroyed
Destruction
Illuminates
How precious
Each moment is
So I’ll swipe away
The yantra
Set fire to
A fortune
To Contain the flame
Is utterly hopeless
I cannot fight
The hollowness of everything
Maybe I just can’t see
This is what it’s supposed to be
And I must say my goodbye
A farewell to civility
I’m through clinging
To something terminal
So I will write an ending
Instead of ending myself
Because I am the hand
That conceives
And completes
The circle
There is no other
To behold the vision
To know that I can bring to life
This spark from the ether
And know that you can see it too
Is the greatest proof
Of my existence
But only if
I destroy the mandala
Will I know
What I made it for for
To look devastation and
Hopelessness in the face
And know im still
Here to observe destruction
Turning ash to a seed and
Seed to ash again
My tears will germinate
The grief will heal
Each grain swept away
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