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Emergence

by Source

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1.
Come out now There's a crack in the shell The sunlight is Waiting here Beyond the horizon of the Crack in the shell Spread these wings and Take this new breath Driven by an ember of hope
2.
Emergence 09:46
I am emerging From the shell And I am so grateful for the The gift of air that fills my lungs So humbling to feel this enduring moment Emergence from this prison shell Drinking in the liberation My satisfaction Was always here Waiting to engulf me And always will be Eternally I can see my path before me All I have to do is take these steps I know I will stumble But I’ll keep spinning the earth Beneath my feet Struggling out of the shell That’s outlasted its purpose Enveloped in the warm glow That was once just a glimmer through a hole Immersed in this unrestricted blessing Brought to tears And joyous laughter This is eternity No need to worry The sun was always waiting right here Only birth can conquer death The birth of something wholly new The Wellspring of creation Driven by an ember of hope "The Impulse" "A Path Out" There’s no escaping disappointment and loss When I can’t feel any hope I must ignite an ember And forge a path A path out of despair By asking you for your help I can’t do this alone I thought that I could Enlighten my way out of this It turns out I still can By asking for a hand In suffering this path In taking another step By asking for your shoulder And opening up to you "Bitter" Tired of holding contempt For all of this incompetence This must end Don’t want to be a bitter man So I must bite my tongue Give way to Noble silence I’ll never make you see the light This child doesn’t need validation Attempting to influence Is futile anyway Nothing I do or say Could ever make me superior It’s just how I keep myself safe I wish you the best I hope that something will open your eyes To the damage you inflict By ignoring the pain inside And pretending that you’re just fine I want you to suffer Punishment for your Transgressions but I know That won’t serve anything I choose to be vital Destructive criticism Is malignant so I Choose to love you Where you’re at and Maybe someday You will feel embraced beyond the Mending of your past I wish you the best I hope that something will open your eyes To the damage you inflict By ignoring the pain inside And pretending that you’re just fine I wish you the best May you find some introspection and May you find the mending You desperately need To be free "Mandala" Credits: Benjamin Gleason: Vocals, Paul Reed Smith Guitars, Acuostic Guitar, Grand Piano, Keyboards, Synthesizers Justin Mirarck: Drums, Nord Drum Synthesizer Pascal Faurie: Bass Guitar ALL MUSIC WRITEN BY SOURCE Additional writing credit to Jake Demarco For his contributions to "The Impulse" and "A Path Out" Recorded at Cymatic Sounds Studios in Golden CO. Produced and Mixed by: Benjamin Gleason and Justin Mirarck Engineered by Justin Mirarck Organ and Leslie Recordings by Don Bearie at Colorado Sound Mastered by Tom Capek at Colorado Sound Studios Cover art by Mike Gamble Augmented Reality by Misha George I leave the shell with this precious gift All the troubles and all blessings of existence This potential is turning kinetic Taking these first steps in my new form Just to feel my breath breathing Soaked in a fountain of humility Atop this arc I sit Inhaling And exhaling My breath propels me Through the sea The sea of living life Through all the troubles and all the blessings of the world The sunlight was always shining here Waiting to engulf me Beyond the horizon Of the shell That I am struggling from Emergence into the world
3.
I am Am I? Listen to duality The song of being Disunion Disunion? It’s the only way To see my eyes The imbalance Between my pulse And my essence Is focusing Despite this Feeling of rejection I can hear the guidance Keep going son Where are you? You’re not here Guess that’s not Part of the deal I will find sonority If I have to make it myself Weave in and out of harmony To sew the fabric of reality Heal the central laceration To mend the bleeding branches In this unity Separate, overlapping I will sit and listen to The song, the song of being First connection First taste of reality There’s so much numbness Here surrounding me Was I Intended And what is this outside of me? Cloaked hostility? So alone From the start Safety of inception Is isolating me Solitude Is killing me Time to accept It’s not a refuge Where were you? You weren’t here Now I suffer In silence I will find sonority If I have to make it myself Weave in and out of harmony To sew the fabric of reality Heal the central laceration To mend the bleeding branches In this unity Separate, overlapping I will sit and listen to The song, the song of being I would give anything (To know that there’s something) Just to feel you (Beneath your shielding) To know that you’re with me (I can’t read you) And that I belong here (Am I welcome?) In this unity Separate overlapping I will sit and listen to The song, the song of being
4.
The Impulse 06:21
I’m back in The trenches This rut was Once my home Slipped back to What I know Face first in Quicksand The harder I pull the more Stuck I become Don’t want to Be drastic But I need some Sense of control If I take matters In my hands I must make A path out Scale the walls With a force of will The constant Sharp piercing Is truly Unbearable Must admit That I need help And cry out For validation Please Ease my despair This wound was My vessel Battered and Splintering Delivered On sails of Repulsion But I’m not just this Vessel My essence is the water This is not The mouth of the river Calling me back to the Source The healing lies here in the depths Of the ocean in my mind I don’t always Give in to hopelessness Despair abducts all of my choices The impulse is for no one’s sake I just want to end the pain I know I have choice I’m choosing to create with it To breathe life into something And here I find what I had lost In hopeless isolation So confused by everything Will you listen to me? I need to feel understood I need to feel you with me I can’t keep denying And dismissing this tendency Fighting so hard Not to indulge the impulse To destroy all I know It would feel so good to demolish These feelings, this spark But that is not why I chose this life The longer it goes on The more serious I become The more defeats I suffer The less I have to lose I know I have choice I’m choosing to create with it To breathe life into something And here I find what i had lost In hopeless isolation I’m so confused by everything Will you listen to me? I need to feel understood I need to feel you with me
5.
A Path Out 05:14
There’s no escaping disappointment and loss When I can’t feel any hope I must ignite an ember And forge a path A path out of despair By asking for your help I can’t do this alone I thought that I could Enlighten my way out of this It turns out I still can By asking for a hand In suffering this path In taking another step By asking for your shoulder And opening up to you If I suffer in silence I surely will disintegrate There’s beauty in the openness I cannot keep this all inside I don’t want to burden you Or seem like I am vapid I’m forging a path out of despair By choosing to breathe life into something I’m making this so I can share The burden of this impulse If I suffer in silence I surely will disintegrate There’s beauty in The openness I cannot keep This all inside
6.
The Betrayal 02:49
You betrayed me In a state of need Abandoned your Responsibility You promised me You wouldn’t disappear But you’re gone now And I am all alone You lied To ease your conscience Your lies Inflame my initial wound I have to forget the sound of your voice It won’t guide me again Although your words ring true The betrayal’s inexcusable We can’t have closure if You’ve got one foot out the door I know that I can pull through But my faith in everyone is gone All that’s left here Is a river of tears In the chambers of my heart I haven’t indulged the impulse But if I do I know that it will haunt you You can’t escape the ashes Of the damage in your wake
7.
Bitter 04:37
Tired of holding contempt For all of this incompetence This must end Don’t want to be a bitter man So I must bite my tongue Give way to noble silence I’ll never make you see the light This child doesn’t need validation Attempting to influence Is futile anyway Nothing I do or say Could ever make me superior It’s just how I keep myself safe I wish you the best I hope that something will open your eyes To the damage you inflict By ignoring the pain inside And pretending that you’re just fine I want you to suffer Punishment for your Transgressions but I know That won’t serve anything I choose to be vital Destructive criticism Is malignant so I Choose to love you Where you’re at and Maybe someday You will feel embraced beyond the Mending of your past I wish you the best I hope that something will open your eyes To the damage you inflict By ignoring the pain inside And pretending that you’re just fine I wish you the best May you find some introspection and May you find the mending You desperately need To be free
8.
Snoodle Goo 01:32
Awoooooooo
9.
Goose Noodle 01:11
10.
Mandala 10:15
First the vision From stillness From ether A glowing spark Of inspiration The desire To sculpt The future Every stitch Of the tapestry Every grain of sand Placed so lovingly I made this so I could share the joy And we could feel Connected The glowing spark Was so pure Generous Benevolent This ember Temporary It will always be Extinguished So I’ll tear to shreds The tapestry That I once sewed So lovingly As I am the hand That begins And completes The cycle To behold the vision To know that I can bring to life This spark from the ether And know that you can see it too Is the greatest proof Of my existence But only if I destroy the mandala Will I know What I made it for for I made this so I could share The joy I felt in the void I never expected That you couldn’t face yourself The grief and futility Take my breath away What was point If everything I have was not enough? Beauty Exists To be And be destroyed Destruction Illuminates How precious Each moment is So I’ll swipe away The yantra Set fire to A fortune To Contain the flame Is utterly hopeless I cannot fight The hollowness of everything Maybe I just can’t see This is what it’s supposed to be And I must say my goodbye A farewell to civility I’m through clinging To something terminal So I will write an ending Instead of ending myself Because I am the hand That conceives And completes The circle There is no other To behold the vision To know that I can bring to life This spark from the ether And know that you can see it too Is the greatest proof Of my existence But only if I destroy the mandala Will I know What I made it for for To look devastation and Hopelessness in the face And know im still Here to observe destruction Turning ash to a seed and Seed to ash again My tears will germinate The grief will heal Each grain swept away

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released October 13, 2023

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Source Boulder, Colorado

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